A New Beginning: My “Year and a Day” Ends

Well, a lot has happened in the past couple of days.

Yesterday was Samhain, the Last Harvest, and the End of Autumn. Samhain is “The Witches’ New Year,” the Neo-Pagan/Wiccan Sabbat/celebration of the Dead and of honoring one’s ancestors. The veil between worlds (the Spirit World and our normal everyday world, to be exact) is thinnest, and it is an ideal time for meditation and divination. Anyway, if you’ve been reading my blog for a long time (though some of the older posts have been deleted – I wish I hadn’t done that, but I did, during a hard time of irrationality that I went through), you’ll know that I started my official “Year and a Day” ritual/journey on Samhain of 2010, so, exactly one year and a day ago today. So these past two days have been very important for me, spiritually. Based on two meditations I did recently, and some general thoughts about the past year, I have come to some conclusions about “The Meaning of My Spirituality” (or whatever would be most appropriate to call these feelings).

 

(I) So, to begin, I meditated shortly after the Spiritwalking experience (see my previous blog post), to ask for answers from Mal (my spirit guide, a male lion) to see if I could find out the meaning behind his words (“threefold,” etc.), as well as gain insight into why I may have been “drawn into” a Spiritwalking experience in the first place. The meditation went as follows (I meditated outside, in the chilly wintery air, with soft music):
I was standing in an ocean, or at least, a large body of water. I could sense the waves washing up against my legs, but it did not feel cold, or even hot. It was this sort of neutral feeling.

Then the image shifted, and I was in a desert, standing among many sand dunes. Mal was there, I could see him ahead, standing on top of one of the dunes. He seemed to be beckoning to me.

I started to climb the sand dune, but he kept feeling farther and farther away, no matter how hard or fast I climbed. Then, finally, I crested the hill and there was a fire in front of me – kind of like the Burning Bush, from Judaic mythology. Mal was there and he told me to look into the fire.

I looked. I saw many things all at once – but then, more clearly, a woman with a baby, putting a baby into a river on a basket of reeds. “Moses?” I asked aloud, but before anyone (Mal?) could answer, another image: two women, standing in front of one another, palms facing out, pressing together. One woman was very tan, and had this golden robe on and a golden headdress, she seemed Middle Eastern to me somehow – Arabian, or Egyptian. The other woman was lighter skinned, with long curly black hair – European looking – sharp features, long limbs. A long, thin nose. They were touching palms, and for a second, they suddenly seemed like one woman. Then, a feather, falling, falling, falling – landing. It landed in my hands. Then it was gone. It was a black feather, and it was the heaviest feather I had ever held.

Then, carvings on walls – people, babies, animals. A golden dome – Jerusalem? – and a crown. I looked up from the fire and in front of me there was a large scroll. Mal was standing next to me, and I looked away from the scroll and reached up to touch him. I could feel his soft mane between my fingers. I pressed my face to his head and before I could ask any questions he said to me, “I have shown you the way.”

Well, this meditation didn’t quite answer my question about the Spiritwalking experience, but it did create a slew of new questions for me! (Meditations always seem to do that…!) I did some research and discovered the following:

`A black feather symbolizes crows and ravens, but also the concept of “spiritual awakening, discovery, and completeness.” A good sign for someone about to complete a “Year and a Day” ritual!

`The European/white woman with the curly black hair and pale skin was a representation of myself. I didn’t necessarily have to do research to figure this out…it just felt like the truth. The other woman – perhaps a long-ago ancestor of mine? A different representation of me? Still not entirely sure. It seems that I am both the me people see every day on the outside, and a “spiritual me” that only I can know or sense – or rather, that only Mal and I can know and sense.

`It feels right that I have returned to my “Jewish roots” and have begun studying things like Kabbalah and the history of the “Pagan Jews” (The Canaanites, etc.). I think that is why I envisioned Judaic mythology/images. Possibly.

 

(II) The second meditation I did was yesterday, on Samhain, at night, in the bath. I often have success meditating in the bathtub, in the warm, scented water (I use bath salts and flower petals/herbs in my baths). I put on a Pandora radio mix of meditation/calming music, and experienced the following:

An image of an elephant came to me, sitting cross-legged on an ornate (and definitely magical) flying carpet, grinning widely. My most immediate thought, said aloud, was “Are you Ganesha?” The elephant said nothing at first, just continued to grin, and then a voice said, “The way is open.”

Then, the scene changed and I was standing at a crossroads. A crow was perched on a signpost, and I had this FEELING that it was Khat, Ange’s Animal Spirit Guide, but he didn’t say anything to me so I couldn’t be sure. No sign of Mal. The sign post had three signs and three roads leading away from it. The road straight ahead led to a modern looking city, with sky-scrapers, New York-like. My first thought was “America.” The road to the right led off to an acient looking city with a golden dome, my first thought being “Jerusalem.” To the left, the final road, was a path that led to a pyramid and a golden, flaming sun – “Egypt.”

I stood there for a moment or two, totally confused and unsure of which road to take. I had the feeling that whichever direction I went in would be a huge decision, and it was very hard to make. I looked at the crow, and asked for help, but he did not answer. He simply nodded, and flew off down the left road, towards what looked to me like a photograph of Egypt. As I watched him a voice, not Mal and not anybody else’s that I know of (not even the elephant from before), said “You should have known.”

This was a very intense meditation – I opened my eyes shivering in a bath tub with water that was easily 80 degrees+. At the moment when I opened my eyes, I realized that the music playing on Pandora was ancient Egyptian ritual music: weirdly, I recognized it. I sat, blinking, trying to figure out why the music was so familiar and then it came to me: exactly one year ago, right around Samhain of last year, I partook in a highly spiritual experience with my two close friends, Ange and Dan, during our study abroad trip to Japan (you may remember my post about this, though it might be deleted now…), where Ange showed Dan and I how she does ritual for Anpu, her Patron, a Kemetic (Egyptian) God. You can read her post about the experience HERE. Read that post! That’s exactly what happened, and it was mindblowing. It was the first time I truly felt the presence of a God, and it was the first time I really knew that Paganism was right for me. I was just starting to learn about Paganism and world religions during that time, and was just getting to know Ange even better, and I had never heard of Kemeticism before…but oh my goodness, the experience was so unbelievable. It pretty much jump-started my “Year and a Day” journey.

So, to have this final meditation happen ON Samhain of THIS year, exactly a year later, right before the end of my “Year and a Day”…well, it was a powerful feeling. I did some research again on the images within the meditation, and combined with my memories of that day in Japan when Ange did her ritual, I came to the following conclusions:

`The Elephant was, I am sure of it, Ganesha, the Hindu God of the Crossroads, and of creating/removing obstacles. I have never studied Him before, nor have I ever tried to communicate with Him, but I have had (and still do have, actually) Hindu friends – and am familiar with basic Hindu mythology. Anyway, He just sort of…appeared to me, and I think it was a general symbol for the crossroads that I then found myself at. I feel, though, as if Ganesha was lifting an obstacle away from my path, rather than putting one there – the words “the way is open” seem to confirm this. Therefore, I believe that whatever I was meant to “realize” in that meditation was a clear path toward my “true spirituality.” Also, remember the black feather from the first meditation? A symbol of spiritual completeness! And of crows!

`Speaking of crows, there was a crow. If it was Khat, Ange’s Spirit Guide, then that would actually make some sense, since Mal, my spirit guide, recently visited Ange in a meditation. I wondered what this might all mean, and I think it means that Ange and I are spirituality connected somehow. We’re good friends, of course, but she’s been involved with my Pagan/Spiritual journey since it started last year, and that seems to be an important thing. I think she’s supposed to be my mentor or teacher, in some way. Which brings me to…

`Egypt. I think I’m supposed to study Egypt. The meditation (well, both, really) seemed to prove this – with the crow flying towards “Egypt” and the words “you should have known” (though who, or Who, said that I still do not know). I think those words were in reference to that day a year ago when I had that unbelievably moving experience with Ange’s ritual and Kemeticism. I spent a year researching and trying and practicing literally everything else, but maybe the point was to get “the rest” out of the way…partly to learn from those experiences, but also partly because I’m silly like that, and probably missed what I should really have been studying! Anyway, Ange is my friend for a reason (because she’s AWESOME – but I wouldn’t have gotten to know her so well if not for that Japan trip, and it was during that Japan trip that I became spiritual again for the first time in years…well, maybe it’s all a coincidence! But maybe not?), and she agreed to teach me about Kemeticism and sent me some recommended readings. Not to mention we are both involved with studying Shamanism now – we’re reading The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner and we’re going to attend a Shamanism Workshop together in April. I somehow feel the Shamanism stuff relates to studying Kemeticism, and to studying Kabbalah, actually.

 

(III) So where does this bring me? This brings me to my conclusion, to where I think I stand at the end of my “Year and a Day” journey/experience:

1. I’ve returned to my Jewish roots/ancestry, and have found magic in Kabbalah and Hebrew, and in the practices of my ancestors and their Pagan predecessors. I will continue to study Judeo-Paganism, as I now call it. I do not think Wicca is a right tradition to combine with Judaism, though, not for me. No, it is meant to be something else. (See #3 on this list!)

2. I am going to study Shamanism, learn as much as I can, go on Shamanic Journeys, and connect even more deeply with Mal.

3. I am going to study Egypt, and Kemeticism. I have “come full circle” from my first real Pagan experience, which involved Egypt/Kemeticism, and now I believe that many things are trying to tell me to learn from that. I really feel I am meant to learn from Ange, read as much as I can, and, quite possibly, worship the Egyptian Gods (and possibly the Canaanite Gods too? I think there is worth in studying that history as well – all the Gods of the ancient Jews, including what became YHWH, would be worth finding out more about I think!). This connects to Judeo-Paganism anyway, since many of my ancient ancestors did live in Egypt at one time. The Jews and the Egyptians, no matter what mythology you choose to believe, did live among one another and probably learned a lot from one another. Regardless of ancestry, though, I feel that this is important for me to pursue in the here and now. Ange told me – “just do what feels right!” It won’t all be awe and wonder, it will be boring sometimes, and difficult, and you might even be unsure of yourself…but just power through, and do what you think means something. And that’s excellent advice.

 

So, as always, my path is changing. But, after a “Year and a Day” I feel so much more…me. I feel like I have gotten to the crossroads, and chosen my direction. And I think it is the right direction.

Here’s to a new year, a new beginning, and a new chapter in my spiritual story!

Blessings,

B. Arynn

My Guide to Kabbalah

Good morning! AMAZING day outside right now! I think Autumn is finally here…! How exciting, makes me look forward even more to Mabon and Samhain, the next two Neo-Pagan holidays in the cycle…! :)

Anyway, I realized this morning, as I was continuing to read Magickal Judaism, that I’ve never actually explained what Kabbalah is on this blog before, though I mention it a lot. I assume most Jews or Pagans who read this blog (not sure how many readers I really have…) have at least heard the term “Kabbalah” before, but I realize now that not everybody knows exactly what it entails – and simply looking up information about it can be daunting, as a lot of Kabbalistic writings are actually quite confusing.

So, I’ve decided to provide a very simple “Guide to Kabbalah” here to help you out! Here are the basics of Kabbalah:

Kabbalah, in the most simplest terms, refers to a mystical and philosophical system that developed out of the shamanistic and mystical roots of early Judaism. Though it has strong roots in ancient Hebraic practice and myth, the most important “Kabbalistic text” was written in 1286 by Spanish Jew named Moses de Leon – this book was called The Zohar or “Book of Splendor.” From there, Kabbalah truly started to become popular in the 16th century, and has grown in popularity ever since – though, I would argue, has also grown in misunderstanding (too many people in this day and age don’t actually “get” Kabbalah, they simply see it as this “cool magical new-age thing” – i.e. Madonna). What Kabbalah really entails has a lot less to do with “new-age” and more to do with true Paganism (Wicca, especially). Though I do not associate with any, Kabbalah is also a basis for/part of many “High Magic” religions/organizations/etc. such as Thelema and Hermeticism (among other “High Magic” groupings). The important thing to remember, though, is that Kabbalah is (no matter how many conservative Rabbis sneer at you) profoundly Jewish.

Moving on. very basically, Kabbalah teaches the following:

First and foremost, there exists the Ein Sof, “The Divinity Beyond Divinity,” “The Infinite,” or “The-Something-that-is-also-Nothing.” The Ein Sof is not a God! The Ein Sof is more like the Great Power Beyond – the point is, it’s really not understandable on a human level (kind of like the Buddhist concept of Nirvana…one can’t understand it until they truly reach it. Same with Ein Sof). I personally like to think of Ein Sof as sort of a personification of “The Universe,” whatever that truly entails. Anyway, from Ein Sof, “creation started” – some think this is inherently related to “The Big Bang” scientific theory, some don’t claim to know what this means at all. The important thing to understand is, though, that from the Ein Sof creation started but it has not stopped. That’s right, the Kabbalah teaches that creation is an ongoing and ever-changing process that all creatures on Earth are an active part of. From creation, Divinity was brought into being, as well as humans, animals, plants, etc. In that sense, the Kabbalah argues that humans are as much a part of Divinity as Gods since we were all “made” from the same stuff and are all actively participating in the process of creation all the time. Gods are still “more powerful,” on a basic physiological level, but humans are “no less a part of the Divine.” In that way, humans always have the potential to reach out to Gods and connect with Them…perhaps even someday become a part of Them (after death, etc.)

Ok, still with me? So, from the Ein Sof Divinity was born – “God” – and from “God” was born two aspects: the physical manifestation within the natural/material world, called Shechinah (Goddess), and the omnipotent metaphysical “un-seeable in the material world” force, called YHVH. From the union (yes, think sex) of Shechinah and YHVH, 32 pathways were born: The 10 Sephirot (or “emanations”) and the 22 Hebrew Letters. The 10 Sephirot are also known as “The 10 Kabbalistic Chakras” and together, they make up The Tree of Life (Eitz Chayim). You maybe have seen a picture of this before:

 

The Kabbalistic Tree of Life

 

So, the 10 Sephirot are (“1″ being the closest to the Divine-level-of-understanding/God/Goddess – “top of the Tree” – and “10″ being the closest to the material/natural world/human-level of understanding – “bottom of the Tree”):

(1) Keter (Crown)

(2) Chokma (Wisdom)

(3) Binah (Understanding)

(4) Chesed (Loving-kindness)

(5) Gevurah (Power) (sometimes also Din/”Judgement”)

(6) Tiferet (Beauty) (sometimes also Rahamim/”Compassion”)

(7) Nezach (Endurance)

(8) Hod (Majesty/Grandeur)

(9) Yesod (Foundation)

(10) Malkhut (Kingdom)

 

The 22 Hebrew letters are important because each has a corresponding number (this system is called Gematria). Here’s a chart:

Hebrew letters and their number correspondences

 

Both the 10 Sephirot and the 22 Hebrew letters are important in practice, as much as in theory. The Kabbalah teaches that by living a life guided by the Sephirot humans can learn to bring YHVH (“un-seeable force” – male) and Shechinah (Material world/natural force – female) together and reach, basically, enlightenment/the ultimate connection to the Divine. How one does this is through the following: meditation (creating a broader sense of awareness and understanding – this can be through song, dance, silence, walking through nature, etc.), mitzvot (doing good deeds), and tikkun olam (“repairing the world” – environmentalism, activism, kindness to others, kindness to animals, etc).

The 22 Hebrew letters are, essentially, a magical code: they are, quite literally, for “doing magic.” In the Kabbalah it is written Avrah Kadavrah – “I create as I speak.” So, for example, the word chaim or “Life” in Hebrew amounts to the number 18 – therefore, Jews often give $18 (or any addition of that: $36, $54, etc.) as a monetary gift for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, weddings, birthdays, etc as it is believed that 18 brings a longer/happier life to a person. Spells can be done using the Hebrew letters – a spell for Love, for example, would use the numbers of the Hebrew word for “love” (ahavah – 1, 5, 2, 5) which add to 13: so the spell would either be said 13 times, done on 13 consecutive days, include 13 of ____ herbs/crystals/whatever within in, etc.

Magic is meant to aid our lives, not fix them or control them – only with the combination of the 10 sephirot (essentially, being a good person and personally reaching out to the Divine) and magic (practical usage of Divine power to aid being a good person and personally reaching out to the Divine) does one truly live a fulfilled life. The Kabbalah stresses that “the importance is the here and now” with no focus on any afterlife, or “reward”: As many, many Jews believe (regardless of whether they study Kabbalah or not), our job is to make heaven on Earth, so to speak. Enjoy this body and this place while it lasts. Make it last.

The Kabbalah also discusses (to my delight, as this is my favorite!) the four Elements: Earth, Air, Water, and Fire (a very Wiccan thing to do, though the correspondences are a bit different, as you will see). Each of these has a corresponding direction, guardian angel, and animal. They are as follows:

Earth (Afar) – West, Raphael, Bull

Air (Ruach) – East, Gabriel, Lion

Water (Mayim) – North, Uriel, Eagle

Fire (Aesh) – South, Michael, Human

The Elements are also used in magic, along with the numbers of the Hebrew letters. Kabbalah puts a lot of emphasis on connecting with the natural world, and utilizing the powers within nature to a positive end.

Of course, there’s much, much more that could be said about Kabbalah, I provided merely a VERY simple explanation, with some key points. Kabbalah, as a whole, is a vast philosophy and a complete practice, that both works alongside traditional Judaism, but can exist separately from it. I find that there is a lot of meaning, power, and practicality within Kabbalah that works well because it allows me to find a more “Pagan-understanding” from Judaism: once, long ago, the Jews were so much more connected to nature (Shamanistic – much like the Native Americans, actually), and much more interested in the workings of what we now call “magic.” Kabbalah should not be looked at as a supplement to Judaism, but as a part of Judaism’s history. To understand Judaism in full, one should not forget about Kabbalah.

For me, personally, Kabbalah is an excellent way to bridge the gap between modern conservative Judaism’s monotheistic focus and emphasis-on-study rigidity (the Judaism of my youth) and Paganism’s polytheistic focus and emphasis on nature and magic: the very fact that Kabbalah speaks of a God AND Goddess proves this. I find that Wicca works the best with Kabbalah, as both seem to have, more than anything, a dualistic approach: Lord and Lady, God and Goddess, YHVH and Shechinah. But while I do honor the concept of YHVH and Shechinah, Lord and Lady, I also feel that there is merit and worth in also honoring “The Old Gods” of my people: El, Asherah, Ba’al, Anath, etc. In conclusion: Kabbalah helps me to hold onto my Jewish ancestry and identity, while also being Pagan.

Well, I suppose that’s enough confusion for one day! I hope this was understandable…I recommend looking into Gershon Winkler’s book Magic of the Ordinary for more information on Kabbalah (that’s my favorite book about Kabbalah) if interested. I’m going to go now and prepare for my first attempt at a Pagan-Jewish Shabbat Ritual (today, Friday, begins the Jewish “Day of Rest” or Sabbath). I have chalah bread and wine for offerings, two candles to light (one for God and one for Goddess – I’m going to try calling on El and Asherah), and I’ll be writing my own prayers. I’ll share it with you tomorrow, hopefully with pictures! Since the day is beautiful I plan to do it outside :)

Have a great day!

–B. Arynn

 

 

Less Thinking, More Doing

Remember when I said I’d be leaving this blog for a little while to go “do some thinking” about my spirituality?

Forget I ever said that.

Here’s why: Last night, I realized that religion isn’t something that just sort of happens to me…I have to make it happen (Sure, some people have other-worldy, Divine wake-up calls (“thwapped” is a commonly used term) – huge, momentous UPG experiences – but I’ve never had that, so for me, this is how it’s always worked). So, it comes down to something as simple as “if I want it in my life, I should actively pursue it.” Otherwise, I could go on thinking for ages – thinking will never be totally satisfying unless I know it’s going to work…and the best way to figure that out? By actually doing it.

So here’s what I’ve done in the past two days (since my last post, yesterday):

 

(1) Power-read through some books

Ok, actually, I lied – I started this a week ago (around when I said I was going to “leave this blog for a bit to think”). But I’m including it here because it’s important, and it’s inspired me to go on amazon today and make a killer wishlist (which will hopefully become a buy-list once I start a job and make some money) of even more awesome books to read. The following are the books I’ve read in the past week:

Magic of the Ordinary by Gershon Winkler (excellent, beautiful, amazing book about Kabbalah & Shamanic Judaism)

The Wiccan Year by Judy Ann Nock (very simple, very easy-to-read overview of The Wheel of the Year from an eclectic Wiccan perspective)

Seasons of Our Joy: A Modern Guide to the Jewish Holidays by Arthur Waskow (A Guide to all of the Jewish holidays, in detail, with prayers, recipes, etc. I only read the Rosh Hashanah section this time, to learn more about that holiday, since it is coming up).

When God was a Woman by Merlin Stone (Nice historical background on The Goddess and Pre-Abrahamic Goddess-worshiping religions)

All four of these books opened huge, wide, swinging doors for me (metaphorically), Winkler’s book especially. The Kabbalah stuff is amazing and, I think, is actually the closest to describing pretty much exactly how I feel about religious theology (i.e. the answer to the whole “what exactly do you believe in?”question – See the “Me & My Path” Page of this blog, which I just updated, to read an amazing paragraph from that book that sums up my beliefs quite nicely, as I’ve finally been able to articulate them). I had no idea such magic, myth, shamanism, healing, Dual Divinity (Goddess/God) and, essentially, witchcraft existed within Judaism. I’ve realized that there’s actually a lot about my birth religion that I don’t know about. Who am I to turn it away or accept it without fully understanding it?

The same goes for Wicca, and all its flavors. I quickly threw Wicca aside when I was at the beginning of my Pagan discovery around this time last year in Japan, but perhaps I was too quick in doing so. I need to learn about these things before discarding them, or even before accepting them.

Which leads me to this: My current Amazon wishlist of books. Here are some of the books I hope to read in the coming months, in order to learn more about Earth-based/magical Judaism and Wicca:

The Jewish Book of Days by Jill Hammer (Basically a book on the Wheel of the Year/turning of the seasons as it/the cycle relates to Judaism)

The Spiral Dance by Starhawk (a Pagan/Wiccan essential, so I keep hearing!)

On the Wings of Shekhinah: Rediscovering Judaism’s Divine Feminism by Leah Novick (Exactly what it sounds like! The Goddess and Judaism)

Earth Magic by Marion Weinstein (Another one that most Wiccans/Pagans always recommend – interestingly enough, the author was originally Jewish before becoming Pagan)

Others include many of Scott Cunningham’s books and some more Kabbalah books and some books on raising children Pagan (even though children are still far off for me, I’m curious). In short: I want to do more religious research. This does relate to the whole “doing” thing, as active study is as much “doing” as ritual, offerings, etc. It’s exercise for the brain! And I think it will help me affirm that this new Jewish-Wiccan self-built path is finally the best place for me. One thing I didn’t do enough of when exploring other paths was research and reading. Maybe things would have been different if I had, maybe not. Either way, those paths did not work out, so this time, I want to do it the right – and informed – way.

 

(2) Actually Celebrated an Esbat

What, really!? Yes, really! I finally – after a year of hoping I would or saying I would or not being interested in it at all – celebrated the Full Moon properly. I baked a pie for the occasion as sort of an offering/enjoyable part of the experience. I went up on the roof of my house here in Philly and watched the sun set and the moon rise. I went back outside late at night, at full darkness, and invoked a small circle (verbally, by calling to the Elements; I didn’t use formal ritual tools or anything this time), and sat and prayed to the Moon. I ended up talking to Her for…like half an hour, while basking in Her light. I talked about nearly everything going on in my life right now. It was actually really really awesome. Call me crazy, but I felt like the Moon was listening. The Goddess was there. She wasn’t speaking to me, per se, or even actually communicating back to me…but She was there. Also, on a whim, I looked through my candle collection before going out to the Moon and found an unused one called “Moonlit Harvest” (smells amazing – like a pumpkin patch at night, I kid you not)…I took it outside with me when I went to “talk with the Moon” and kept it out there all night to charge under the moonlight. I’ve decided I’m going to burn it on Mabon, with a prayer/wish carved into it (basic candle magic for the win!)

Here are some pictures from my mini-Esbat:

 

Chocolate Cream Pie for the Full Moon!

 

The Cityscape from the top of our roof. Beautiful sunset-colored sky!

 

The Full Moon (The Harvest Moon) in all of Her glory!

 

What did I learn from the spontaneous decision to hold a mini-Esbat? “Doing” feels great! Doing is SO much better than just sitting around and thinking. I didn’t even try and worry about what tradition to use, what to say, how to celebrate, I just did what felt right. And it was simple and beautiful and real.

I want to capture the same feeling on Mabon, the Fall Equinox, which is next week. It actually falls on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year celebration, this year…so I’m going to try and combine celebrating them. I want to do a bit more planning for this than I did for the Esbat (which really did just sort of happen…), but I’m still going to let my feelings guide me on the actual holiday…just do what feels right based on my plans, readings, and intuition. I might be going home to visit my family then to, which would be nice. I’ll write about the experience and share pictures here :)

 

So that’s what’s up right now. I am so sick and tired of the “ehh I don’t know I’ll just think about it” approach to religion.

No more of that from me. From now on it’s all action.

 

–B. Arynn